bitter or realistic?

I've had a lot of responses to these recent blogs. All have been incredibly supportive and full of kind words from friends who I've met all over and come from all different parts of life. But its interesting how my writing is interpreted differently by each person.

Some of you have expressed concern over my "being sad" and cautioned against becoming embittered against love... I'm hoping to clarify some of my thoughts tonight.

Love is a powerful, amazing, beautiful, indescribable thing. It's an emotion, a feeling, an action, an energy all rolled into one word. It can be expressed in different ways for different purposes.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud, it is not rude. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...

I wish this description were my own, but I didn't come up with it. (Thank-you, God!) As I dwell on this ultimate description of love, I see why my heart is hurting this week. Granted, this is a very upstanding order. Even the greatest of all who love will at some point fall short of the mark on this one. But if this is love how it was intended, then no wonder the entire world is hurting right now! My feelings are a microscopic example of pain that is experienced when love falls short around the world.

I'm not any more important than anyone else. My "problems" will eventually dissipate. Life goes on. If I'm not interested in "falling in love" right now, or for a long time, or ever again, the world will still go on. And I hope the best for those out there who are experiencing love in it's varied, wonderful forms, whether it's romantic or completely platonic. Truly, I do. Because love is a matter that is completely out of anyone's control. We can't explain where it comes from, how it happens, or what it makes us do (or not do). We can, however, decide how we will deal with love in our lives.

How we deal with love depends greatly on our experience with it thus far in our lives. I have experienced great joy out of loving others, such as family, friends, and children in great need. I have only experienced great pain out of loving men. It's great for a little while, but eventually has ended with my heart gasping for a breath of clean air, feeling torn, stomped over or shriveled up. Please don't mistake this for a pity party. This is not my intention. Just merely stating facts as they pertain to my life. And because this has been the result of my experiences with romantic love thus far, I feel better off walking away from the desires of my heart on this one. It is better for me to love platonically and fully, than to love romantically and end up empty. It hurts less to live alone and suffer through the occasional lonely times than to give love to another and receive even less than I started out with in return. Maybe in the long run, I'm wrong. But right now, this is what makes sense. If you touch the stove, you're going to get burned. If you don't touch the stove, you won't get burned.

Thanks for reading. :)